Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
