I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
i think im in europe. pls send help
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
