The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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