So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
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