I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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