IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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