Where is the hickey?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
