I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
