I wanna bring you to show and tell
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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