call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
