I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I believe in your delicious
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize