go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
