I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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