I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
