I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
