Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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