i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
