no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize