I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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