I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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