i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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