do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
