grandma shit on top of the toilet
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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