i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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