it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
