its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
