dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
