sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
