that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize