What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
