so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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