i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
