mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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