i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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