Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
