Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
