Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize