Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
