Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
