walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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