I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
