just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
honey bunches of taint.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
