the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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