The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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