my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
