So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
