I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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