How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
