I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this boner is exhausting
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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