Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
