Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
