People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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