Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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