I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
