Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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