I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
