Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
