i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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