you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
